First Screenwriting draft

((Masterpost here))

This is my first attempt at screenwriting for a project that hopefully will move forward as well. This isn't even complete and in fact is being revamped. But this is really my first effort at getting the formatting right and doing the transition from prose and long-form fiction writing to the practice of writing for stage and screen.

Enjoy and comments are appreciated. I will also post some additonal project information as it goes forward.

Thank you for reading!

Clickety Clack

A first draft by Suzanne Helen James

  [INT. A DARK, CLUTTERED ROOM]

 In the early hours of the morning, a girl sits on her bed
 and types on her computer, bulging eyes glued on the screen.

 She glares and grunts and occasionally slaps the monitor in
 frustration.

                              ANNA:
                    Come on, Striker...don't let me
                    down! You can do it! Only a few
                    more bases to go! You can do it!
                    Destroy that bastard!

But then a single shooting sound finishes her as Anna groans
in defeat and falls back on the bed.

She takes off her headset to ignore the sounds of her
fighter being shot down.

A huge explosion brightens her screen as her plane is

destroyed, but she's not willing to watch the virtual
carnage.

There's no point after all since it's game over.

When the room darkens and all quiets down, a beeping sounds
rouses her attention back to the screen.

                              ANNA:
                         (mutters)
                    Can't fucking believe this..that
                    fucking bastard shot me down again!
                    Fucking shit...urgh. Fuck. This.
                    Shit.

One of her tabs sounds off with a notification. With a roll
of her eyes, Anna sighs and opens it.

It's a dating site, and she has a message.

She opens the message and skims it quickly. The message is
dated from 2 hours ago...which was when she logged onto her
RPG account and began the war to save the universe.

                              ANNA:
                         (under her breath)
                    Fuck.I completely forgot to respond
                    to her. Damn you striker!

Taking a deep breath, Anna formulates her thoughts to
respond. Glancing up and down at the whole message again,
she cracks her knuckles and begins to type.

(shot to the screen as her words she types appear on the

screen)

                              ANNA: (V.O.)
                         Dear...No, that's not right.
                         (pause)
                    ...Um...Hey there Joegirl! Hope you
                    are doing well! I'm sorry my
                    message was late...No no, that's
                    not right.

With a shake of her head, Anna erases her message and starts
over again.

                              ANNA (V.O.):
                    Hey ho, Joegirl! It's me, Anna.
                    Sorry i'm late...but like...I had
                    gotten...busy...?

Anna shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Busy seemed too
obvious...

She blinks slowly as she glances at the time. Much too late
to have the proper response to such a nice message.

                              ANNA:
                         Yep. Much too late for this.
                         i'll try again tomorrow.

          

With a shrug, Anna turns on her lamp and closes her
laptop,which she places on her bedside table.

                                                          CUT TO:

          INT.A COFFEE SHOP- MORNING

Anna sits at a table, head turned to the window mindlessly.
Though she looks relaxed, she chews slowly on her lip and
keeps tapping her finger on her cheek.

Her thoughts revolve around the message that she didn't send
to that Joegirl..and more than that, her mind keeps
reminding her of the utter defeat that she still reels from
at the hands of her top rival, SKYKING21.

The vibration of her cellphone brings her back to reality
and she takes her phone out of her pocket.

Her friend SYLVIA sends her a text to tell her friend that
she's on her way.

Along with the text, there's a link below Sylvia's message
that Anna scrolls over, deciding to listen to it later.

Deciding to chat with her friend while she waits, Anna
begins the conversation with what occurred last night.
(shots back and forth between sylvia and anna as their texts
are narrated)

                              ANNA(.V.O.):
                    So, I totally and utterly tanked
                    last night...

                              SYLVIA(V.O.):
                    Aww (sad face emoticon) D'you mean
                    you got defeated again on that game
                    of yours or did a girl actually say
                    no to you?

                              ANNA:
                    Oh no, no! Not girls. Yeah, the
                    game. I was this close to actually
                    beating that level...but was once
                    again thwarted by the efforts of
                    that dreaded SKYKING21.

                              SYLVIA:
                    Sigh. Sorry to hear that, girl. But
                    seriously though...how could
                    someone spend most of their time
                    online playing video games when
                    there are beautiful women out there
                    to befriend and get to know?!
                    Speaking of beautiful, have you
                    touched base with your lady
                    Joegirl91 yet?

                              ANNA(.V.O.):
                         Sigh...actually, I had gotten
                         distracted by said game when-

          

Anna doesn't finish her sentence because she hears a gasp
and looks up the table to see Sylvia, in a huff, marches
over to Anna and slams her hands down menacingly on the
table.

Anna recoils further in her seat at the tall brunette's
pointed and decidedly mad stare behind her aviator shades.

                              SYLVIA:
                         (eyebrow raised)
                    ...You said...you got...distracted?

                              ANNA:
                         (hesitates before answering)
                    ...I'm afraid I did. I couldn't
                    help it! My inbox was filled with
                    requests from other members of my
                    flight squadron asking for my
                    immediate assistance! I had to do
                    it to save the galaxy!

                              SYLVIA:
                    ...How are you sure that they
                    weren't ads from the many many
                    games you're already suscribed to?
                    They could've been baiting you to
                    go back and aid their noble cause
                    of swindling a lonely girl like you
                    purely for money!

                              ANNA:
                         Hey! I'm not lonely! I have
                         friends from all over the
                         world and a family...who I've
                         successfully deluded into
                         still thinking I'm straight!
                         (pauses to look down at her
                         phone sadly)
                    Still.

                              SYLVIA:
                    Oh. (beat) Sorry.

                              ANNA:
                         (distant)
                    ...It's ok.

Anna's last line made Sylvia frown in regret.

She feels like she's hit a nerve with that last one.

With a sigh, Sylvia moves away from her friend and relaxes
with a stretch.

                              SYLVIA:
                    ...No, really,I'm sorry about that.
                    D'you wanna talk about it over some
                    of Liz's coffee? My treat.

                              ANNA:
                    Sure. Since you're paying.

Sylvia smiles and rolls her eyes as she walks over to the
coffee counter, where we meet the handsome barista LIZ,

who's currently busy currently making a drink for another
customer.

                              LIZ:
                    Hey there S! Nice to see you today!
                    i'll be right with you! Are you
                    gonna have the usual?

                              SYLVIA:
                    You bet! And we'll take them to go
                    today!

                              LIZ:
                    Oh? You're not staying this
                    morning?

                              SYLVIA:
                    Nah, not today. Anna's got class
                    and I've got rehearsal for my gig
                    tonight! Which reminds me...can I
                    count of you to promote my upcoming
                    open mic?

                              LIZ:
                    Oh yeah! After the turnout last
                    time, Gail was completely estatic!
                    Just tweet me the details and I'll
                    make a reservation for whenever you
                    want it!

                              SYLVIA:
                    Will do! Thanks Liz! You always
                    know what's best! And also,(looks
                    behind her) while you're at it...

Sylvia smiles as she sees a cute girl staring at her from
the corner of her eye while she's waiting in line. When
their eyes meet, the girl giggles softly and looks back in
her book.

Sylvia winks at her and waves as the line moves forward.

She just loves getting a cute girl's attention.

                              SYLVIA:
                         (snaps her fingers to point at
                         the girl) Actually, if you can
                         also get me whatever that
                         cutie by the 3rd stool there
                         gets too. It's on me.

                              

                              LIZ:
                    Well actually, you'll be happy to
                    know that it's her first time here,
                    so your treat will certainly have
                    her coming back!

                              SYLVIA:
                    Perfect! Then I will get the
                    beautiful newcomer your best
                    Cappucino Latte on me, please!

                              LIZ:
                         (chuckles) Whatever you say,
                         superstar.

          
As Liz finishes her order, Sylvia keeps her eyes on her new
girl with winks and smirks going her way...until her phone

rings and she receives a text from Anna, who is decidly
pissed that their drinks have taken this long when Sylvia's
the only one left who's waiting in line.

When Sylvia looks up to see her friend...she sees their
table empty and groans.

With a grimace, Sylvia sends an apologetic text and turns
around to see Liz handing her two medium-sized hot coffees
with sleeves.

                              SYLVIA:
                    Thanks Liz! You're the best!

With another huff, Sylvia rushes to meet up with a smirking
Anna, sitting down at the steps of the shop outside.

As the two leave, Sylvie's crush who sits at the stool grins
as she twirls a piece of paper with the brunette's number on
it.

mini script 3

Masterpost Here

This is the 3rd mini-script in a series that I submitted for the Voice-Over competition back in 2007.
It's short and sweet.

Voice-Over Idol script #4

For Anime Evolution 2007

“I’ll be taking that as a sign of Yes…?”

(An original Hagaren no Renkijutsu (Fullmetal Alchemist) script)

(The title should say it all, shouldn’t it?)

Ed: (sitting in front of Winry’s door, with hands over his head and grimacing) This is just great…Terrific. Totally spectacular. And yet…this couldn’t be as bad as I think it is. Yeah, don’t panic. She may have just gasped and suddenly stormed into her room, but that wasn’t too bad. Besides, I don’t know how she feels yet. She’s still taking all of this in. I’m not even sure of how I should react! After all, I mean…it’s a gutsy move though. Be ready for impact then, Ed. (Takes a deep breath and slowly opens Winry’s door open) W-Winry?

Winry: (sitting slouched on the floor of the room, holding something in her hands and mumbling) M-m-my…precious…(Meanwhile Ed tip-toes inside. The floor creaks and a crying Winry finally reels back and pounces the stunned Ed) OHHHH ED ED EDDDD!!! I'LL ACCEPT IT! WHAT BETTER WAY TO ASK ME THAN TO GIVE ME AN AUTOMAIL-CRAFTED RING!!!! TWO GREAT PRESENTS IN ONE!!!!!

(An Original idea that just popped in my head. This little part here isn’t supposed to be read aloud by the way. Hence the itty bitty writing.)

Mini-script # 2

Masterpost Here

This is part 2 of my series of original mini-scripts written for the 2007 Voice acting competition at the Anime Evolution Con. Since actually, I haven't done much voice-acting, but every once in a while I still think about it, though my main concern is in writing for screen, stage and digital media. 

Enjoy!

Voice-over idol script #1

For Anime Evolution 2007

"Dattebayo vs. Believe it!"

(An original script from one of Naruto's many inspirational speeches from the titular manga/anime series)

Original creator: Masashi Kishimoto

(Naruto lost his English to Japanese dictionary, but Sakura helps him to translate a word that we can all understand from the blonde ninja...)

Sakura: "Naruto, it's not that hard to say, you know. Just two simple words that even you would say. And besides, you had no problem saying that other catch phrase back in Japan, so what would be the trouble of saying the same here? You just say it at the end of your sentences, or whenever you finish a speech, like usual...it's not that difficult as you keep whining it is! Besides, if I can say "cha" you can say your catch phrase too! Now, let's hear it! Or else I won't spoon feed you Ramen!"

Naruto: "Nani? Aww, Sakuraaaa-chaan!" (Pouts and rolls eyes before crossing arms and taking a deep breath) Fine..."Datteba-Ow!" (Gets smacked upside the head by Sakura) "Oi...do I have to say it? It totally doesn't sound like meee!! Besides I'll still be liked if I say it in Japanese than English!" (Gets death glared by Sakura and is about to get pummeled) "Uh...Alright, alright! Believe it, believe it, believe it!!! I'm totally caving in with my new catch phrase, believe it!!!"

(This is an original script created by the likes of a very kooky girl. I have no means to offend anyone, not Viz media, not Maile Flanagan, not Kate Higgins, not anyone who is involved with the English production of Naruto. I just feel that Naruto's English catch phrase needs to be noted on because it has its own quirkiness to it, that's all. This isn't to be read outloud.)

Mini-script 1

Masterpost Here

This is an excerpt of the scripts I had submitted as a part of a Convention I had volunteered in 2007, Anime Evolution. The Panel was part of a voice-acting competition and though I didn't won, I still recall being praised most likely for effort.

And again, contextually it's to show the versatility of my writing. Enjoy!

Voice-Over idol script # 6

For Anime Evolution 2007

“The shrinking of the ditzy teenager”

Scriptwriter: Yasmine

Duck surfer boy: (he’s standing on the roof of a building, watching a girl walking on the beach) “Like, Hooo noooo! We are sooo not O-V-E-R, Julie! That’s like, mean to leave out like this, man! Here’s, like, a taste, of my super weirdo-shrinking ray, dude! Feel the BIG KAHUNAAA!!!!”

Rich girl: Ahh! (she gets hit by the ray) Like, like, oww! I, like, got, hit by a strange dart-like thingy on my like, neck…(gasps as she shrinks and voice heightens) What’s, like, happening! My voice! Something’s like, wrong with, like, my voice!! NUOOOO!!!

In that “super quick voice at the end of the medical commercial” voice: (And that’s the story of the shrunken rich girl. This has no reference to the likes of Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and any other rich tabloid girl in the likes of Hollywood. This is just in fact wild, wild wild satire brought you by a crazy girl. Ask your parents or shrink permission before parodying such blatant celebrities.)

"So does Kits think it can dance?" Pitch/Script

Masterpost Here

Once upon a time, when I was a young warthog...

No,just kidding. I was never a young warthog...

Although sometimes I eat like one. 

ANYWAY

I do recall that at some point, I was illegally young, about 16 or 17 and I had a dream. (Not THAT dream) I had a big dream of going to Toronto and become a Much music VJ. I had dreams of becoming a voice-over Actress. I had dreams of getting my name out there and becoming a household name. In that process, my ideas included paying homage to the Canadian version of the Reality competition show, "So you think you can dance"and having a smaller-scale version at my high school.

The idea was very ambitious and so was I, really. But unfortunately, I wasn't practical nor did I really think of the public relations aspect of the project. Thus, after months of brainstorming with my associate over theme songs and exchanging ideas and gathering a crew but having no structure with how to get the project really going, the whole thing fell slowly and silently apart. Sure, I gained friends and got some experience, but also quite frankly,I also felt like a big failure for the first time in my life. 

And to be honest, sometimes I still do. 

But then, I think of all the following projects and the lessons I'd gotten from that. And when I had an Internship in 2012, I eventually got to learn of all the things that the 17 year old ambitious-but-unrealistically-waiting-for-things-to-come-to-her me would've probably benefitted from. 

So in remembrance of what could've been, I've posted the original script to have kickstarted the project. 

« So those Kits think it can dance » Script

Host: (walking towards camera; or looking towards from the side) Okay...here's the deal. When you think Kits, what do you get? Great sports teams. (Someone throws a ball into the court; or they could be playing basketball) Cool students and faculty. (Two people wave hello to the camera, all perky-like) And frankly, our theater group just blows you away. (Jacky gets down on one knee and recites dramatically;«  To be or not to be » in front of a stage). But then...where are YOU, contemporary dancers? (points to the camera; from there I think we should use different angles on each sentence; this is center) YOU ballerinas?(from the left) YOU breakers? (from the right) Well, I know that YOU're just waiting in the wings. Unaware. Undiscovered. But...what if we gave YOU the chance to prove yourself? Would YOU have what it takes to fight your way into the spotlight? As a member of Kitsilano, Would YOU have the skills, the personality and the energy to convince our audiences of your talent? (a little dance and pose here)

Infact, do YOU have the flair to get through to our student body? Do YOU have what it takes to claim that spot in their hearts to become OUR favorite dancer? Do you even have the heart to go earn your way towards the chance of seeing the coming of Canada's first own « favorite dancer »?

(back to me, sitting on a throne; and once again pointing to the camera) So now I throw the challenge to all of YOU, eager, hungry dancers out there; do YOU think you can make your Kitsilano school proud? Can YOU rile us out of our seats? Make us cheer for YOU? But more importantly...

Does Kitsilano think it can dance?

My big brother's secret

Masterpost Here

My big brother's secret

(a.k.a. A Southwestern romance)

An updated dialogue-turned-script by Suzanne Helen James

For Ms. Maguire's Creative Writing 12

Kitsilano Secondary School

(Simeon is in his room, furiously writing something. The always curious Clarissa, his little sister, suddenly comes in the room to bother him, especially in his most crucial moments of concentration. This is one of them.)

Clarissa: “...What are ya doin', big brother Simeon? Ya seemed so con-cen-trated, I just had to let myself in.”

Simeon: “That's “concentrated”. And get out, I'm writin'. Could ya leave me alone this time? I'm really busy an' this is somethin' really important.”

Clarissa: “Hmm. 'Kay then. (She hasn't moved away, but instead has moved to his desk side. Simeon moves his elbow down to block her view) Can I see what you're writin', big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: “No. You ain't gonna be seein' it anytime soon either, so get on' leavin'.”

Clarissa: “Alright then, I'm leavin'...But why can't I read it, big brother?? Why can't I?”

Simeon: “It ain't ready yet.”

Clarissa: “What do you mean, 'it ain't ready yet'?”

Simeon: “It's like I said...it ain't ready yet!”

Clarissa: “Are you writin' somethin' for somebody?”

(Silence for a little bit. Simeon doesn't give an immediate answer and doesn't look at Clarissa, but quickly retorts...)

Simeon: “...Maybe...anyways, get on goin', or else I'm gon' get you.”

Clarissa: “...Kay then. (Still hasn't moved.) Who're you writing it to?”

Simeon: “Not tellin' you a dang word.”

Clarissa: “Aww, come onnnn! Who you writin' it to, Big brother Simeonnnn??”

Simeon: “Get it through your lil wormin' head, I ain't tellin' you none o' it, 'kay? Now get on leavin' me 'fore I give one to ya!”

Clarissa: “Well, alright then. But I'm not stoppin' till you tell me who you're writin' to!”

Simeon: “Oh really? Well you can go 'head and try all ya like, but you ain't gettin' a thing from me.”

Clarissa: “Really? You ain't gon' tell me a dang thing, Big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: “Yeah. Not a god-given dang thing. Now vamoose an' get 'fore I do somethin' mean and big to ya!”

Clarissa: “...Awww! I'm goin then...but first! Can't I even give a hootin' eye's guess who you gonna write it to, Big brother?”

Simeon: “...Again ya lil' maggot; you can try but you ain't gon' guess it!”

Clarissa: “Really? Ya sure o' that, Big brother Simeon? Not even if I try with all my might?”

Simeon: “...Yeah,yeah, yeah. Now get on' leavin now 'fore I really get angry and I'm forced to gettin' you outta 'ere by force, in other words, my big whoopin' fists!!!”

Clarissa: “...Welll...I'ma gonna try my luck anyway! Is sheeeeee....Is she someone I'd know from school?”

(...Exasperated and slightly miffed that Clarissa doesn't react to his threats as easily as she used to, Simeon rolls his eyes and turns around to ignore Clarissa. But like always, that's hard to do. Finally, he plays along, but still slips in a few more in to see if it'll do something to get her out faster.)

Simeon: “...She ain't in your grade, kay. Told ya you couldn't get it. Now get on leavin' before Big brother gets mad. And trust me; you've seen Big brother gettin' mad and you don't want it happenin' to you, now do ya?”

Clarissa: “Aww, grass nuggets! Lemme try again 'fore I leave though, 'kay? Issss sheeee...somebody from any other school that I'd know?”

Simeon: “...Goddamit, ya annoyin' little nut! She just ain't in your grade, 'kay? She's in mine! Mine, mine, mine! Now just beat it, ya lil varmint! Or else you're really gettin' me mad! You hearin' me? I'm about to get Hulkin' mean!”

The mischievious Clarissa is still next to Simeon's side, even with the threats. She continues on with her guesses, to Simeon's dismay.)

Clarissa:“...Hmmm! Big brother Simeon's swearin' again! (Pause.) Heyy! Is itttttt...Marsha Wilkins, that girl who's always lipsin' an' all that? Rumor was, recently she got 'er tooth chipped off from her daddy. Says she been kissin' them boys too much and got some spankin' and soap water for punishment...Mamaw ain't gon' do that to me when I'm outtin', is she? 'Sides, the only kissin' in the mouth I've done is Daddy...and I can't get soaped for that, can I? It's Daddy, no matter how weird it is!”

Simeon: “(sighs)...First off, ain't Marsha Wilkins that I'm writin' to. Secondly, no, Mamaw ain't gon' do that to ya. Except, maybe...the soap water thing. And thirdly...would ya mind gettin' on goin outta my room, ya lil bugger? You are seriously close to gettin' big brother mad!”

Clarissa: “.....Kay then...though I'ma give one more try, just to pry! Is itttttt....is it that Becky Donahue girl, the one's who's always hittin' people on the face? That girl always has a laugh that just reminds me of a big, bloatin' ass...with braces. You ever see that, big brother? An ass with braces? That's what I think Becky is. Or she might've been in another life...To think, God Almighty once made 'er into an ass with-”

Simeon: “No I haven't, ya lil rugnut! And no, Becky Donahue ain't the one I'm writin' to! Now get on and move outta my room 'fore I put one on ya like I ain't put on ya before!”

(As Simeon's anger escalates with the recurring list of threats, the little sister giggles and still stays put. Okay...maybe she hops back a foot, but otherwise she's still in the room and feels she's getting closer to finding the answer.)

Clarissa: “Hmm, hmm, hmm! Big brother's gettin' angry! (Pause.) Hey! I just thought o' somethin'! Don't folks say that girls hit ya when they like you? And Becky Donahue's been hittin' on you a lot lately, hasn't she? She always says that she wanna see ya after school, an big brother always goes with 'er! So how many times would Becky hit ya then?”

Simeon: “...”

Clarissa: “...Big brother ain't answerin' that question...”

Simeon: “...That's cause big brother don't wanna answer that question! Now get leavin' 'fore I stick one big one on ya like I ain't ever stick one on ya before! Go on, get!”

Clarissa: “Wait, wait, wait! Don't Becky Donahue have a twin sister? Ain't she the pretty, nicer one o' the two? Infact, she always gettin' ya lunch after Becky takes 'em away from you! And she always pats your back after Beck hits ya all the time!”

(....This time the silence has Simeon turning away from Clarissa, hands clasped behind his head. Hopping another step back, the little sister gets a bit closer to the door. She knows that she's practically figured it out. Preparing for her big finish, Clarissa steps backwords one more time.)

Simeon: “...”

Clarissa: “...Hey, Big brother ain't answerin' that question neither! But...I thought I was right 'bout Becky Donahue's sister! Ain't she the pretty one o' the two Donahue twins, with blonde hair an' shiny white teeth? I can tell that she's an actual girl! Ain't that her? I wanna know, I wanna knowwww! Big brother Simeon ain't answerin' that question and I wanna know!!!”

(Getting even closer towards losing the edge of reason, Simeon takes a deep breath and resists. He drops his head on the desk and lets out a defeated groan before grumbling a faint muffle of words under his breath. Then he finally raises his head and barely utters...)

Simeon: “...Yeah.”

Clarissa: “...Huh? Whazzat? Big brother Simeon said sumthin' but I couldn't hear it.”

Simeon: “...Yeah, Becky Donahue's got a sister. And er name's Dee-Dee. Now get on' outta here, ya lil snake. Ya got what you wanted, now make away an' get.”

Clarissa: “That's her? The one with the blonde hair?”

Simeon: “Yeah.”

Clarissa: “The one with the shiniest teeth in the whole wide world?”

Simeon: “...yeah.”

Clarissa: “The one who runs with ya to the nurse's office after you end up cryin' when Becky hits you?”

Simeon: “...Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now...can ya just get on with yur life an move on away from mine? I'm tryin' to write 'ere!”

Clarissa: “...So, was I right? Is big brother Simeon's writin' to Becky Donahue's twin sister, Dee-dee Donahue?”

Simeon: “....Get goin', I said.”

Clarissa: “So it is her, right, Big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: (Getting ready to attack Clarissa now, having been driven to his limits.) “...Yeah...now get the heck outta my room 'fore I deliver a whoopin' on ya like I ain't never whooped one on ya, you little son of a flick...Infact...I'ma gonna give one to ya right now, ya little monster! Come 'ere!”

(First giggling, then bursting in laughter, the triumphant Clarissa jumps away just in time to miss her brother's leaping towards her...blowing a rasberry as she slams the door in his face, she winces slightly as she hears the 'THUMP' of his face hitting the wood of his doorframe. Smirking to herself, Clarissa then skipps away while singing to herself...)

Clarissa: “Si-me-on-and-Dee-Dee sitt-in-on-a-tree...k-i-s-s-ing...first comes love...then comes marriage...and before you know it, whoops! Here's one-a comin' in a baby carriage!!” (Before leaving the stage, she yells to Mamaw)

Clarissa: “...Mamaw, Big brother Simeon's got a crush on Dee-Dee Donahue! If he kisses 'er like crazy, can you wash his mouth with soap an' chip his all o' his tooth off like Marsha's Daddy did her? An' he kept on threatenin' me! Can I get Daddy to put 'im in prison for attempted homicidin' on my person like for that other guy?! I want 'im to stay in jail till he's a hundred an' five, cuz I think he's really, really...dan-ger...(struggles with the word) dan-ge-rous! And toppin' it all off, he's still swearin' like...(she stops to think of something really good.) Big brother's still swearin' like a mad cowboy on shots o' gin! Can you spank im? Pleeeease??? He's really, really bad, Mamaw!!!”

Simeon: (on the floor, groaning...then yells) “Mamaw, don't you believe her! I am your one, good, god-given and educated nobel son! I demand that you take my side and not take an inch of what that...little creature there is tryin' to say bout me! I can honestly that She's the evil one! She could be growin' up a compulsive liar for all we know! Would you believe her drabbles over my honesty and good will? I think not! I suggest we take care of her before she's gettin' too hard to handle; the sooner, the better!”

Mom: (Doesn't come on stage, but we hear her voice loud and clear in the background.) “...For heavens's sake Clarissa, not again! How many times do I gotta tell you...we ain't puttin' your brother in jail, we ain't gon' chip his teeth off, an' he ain't dangerous! But! If I do hear anythin'...and I mean anythin', of a near damning expletive outta either, 'specially you, young Simeon...you're gon' be wishin' and prayin' that you HAD been in a prison cell after I'd be done with ya!! Now is that clear?”

3rd post...on the 3rd day.

Hello again.

We resume our random chatter from a day earlier with more words and more stories.

Now, this entry was written sometime earlier this year. I had drawn the concept from the Orwellian horror book, 1984. (I HATED it. *heart* It's not a horror book, it's the dystopia that's scary.) The characters are unnamed, unlike the book, but like the book...

Well, you better read it to see. And tell me your thoughts. Any allusions or anything, do tell me. If anyone would like to re-enact this, then you have my full permission.

Enjoy.

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Breaching Eden

A play in one act by Suzanne Helen James

Rating: T (violence, content)

Genre: mystery, war, two-hander

(Scene opens in a small space, focused on a single light on the middle of the stage. There's a table with a small, slim black stick. Down stage left, two guards are barely seen in the dim darkness. The Breaker enters the scene and looks at The Rebel, a prisoner tied down on a chair. He's covered with bruises and fresh cuts and has his head held down.)

The Breaker- My goodness. Ten years later and who would have thought I’d see you here of all places? Ironic, isn’t it?

The Rebel- …I can’t believe it. It is ironic indeed...you could've been sitting in this chair ten years ago…but now you’ve “changed” apparently. Are you in charge of tonight’s proceeding?

The Breaker- Yes, yes I am. I will be the one interrogating and you will have no choice but to answer to my questions or suffer the consequences.

The Rebel- Of course. I think I know how it works by now. It is really is something of irony, though. To think, once upon a time we knew each other.

The Breaker- Yes, yes…you and I go a long way back. However, the times where I was once the turbulent one and you were the dutiful one have now changed. If it wasn’t for The Society, I would’ve been beaten, broken and about to be brutally executed…just like yourself.

The Rebel- Well, if you must know, broken, battered and executed I may be, but my reasons are for the better good! After all, The Society should crumble along with its corruption. When it crumbles, the people will then rise and turn their back on the past.

The Breaker- Ah yes, I heard about this. You repeat that and so do your soldiers who follow you…though I suppose it is understandable. Criminal or not, you always had a certain charisma to you.

The Rebel- It wasn’t my charisma as much as it was The One and Only Truth that resonated to them. To realize that truth, The Society must crumble.

The Breaker- (chuckles) Honestly, I do find this meeting of ours truly ironic. The same Society that you wish to destroy is once the same Society you were so dedicated to protect. Have you really changed so much in the last ten years?

The Rebel- At the time, I was young and foolish. I was under the Society’s evil influence. I was ignorant and blind to the machinations behind the scenes…It was only recently that I freed myself and I saw the light. The Society you and I are living in is corrupt in every sense and can only be purged through our Revolution!

The Breaker- A bit crazy on the talking, no? But then again, this was the revolution speech that sparked millions of young minds into decisive action. And in our case, I’m afraid that they’ve accepted to destroy their own home.

The Rebel- How dare you call this a home? This degenerated and immoral cesspool is what you call a home?

(In his passion and anger, the Rebel had sprung from his seat, only to fall back down. The rebel hisses in pain and pants)

The Breaker- Heh heh heh…you know I’m finding you to be a truly remarkable sight right now, of a tired and hurting man…And after all that, you suddenly get mad at the mention of home…your home and my home as well! Don’t you know that The Society will always be our home; no matter “corrupted” you think it may be? Let’s not destroy it for the sake of the children…

The Rebel- You think that our children will accept this? The children will rise to power and they will set in motion The Revolution that we have started! The Truth will come forth and set us all free! What is being said to us now has all been lies…but you can’t seem to understand that.

The Breaker- Are you actually asking me if I see lies around me? I’m afraid I don’t follow. What I do understand though, is that The Society does provide for us, no matter how many times you deny it. The Society will also provide for our children and they will indeed rise to take over. However, there is no need for your great and bloody Revolution to happen. The children do not need to inherit such pointless violence.

The Rebel- …Do you honestly hear yourself? You honestly believe that our sons and daughters will embrace the current Society? How can they, with such malice roaming around in our hearts? They will not be blinded forever! They will not want to sit on the thrones of Lies and Corruption!

The Breaker- Oh no, you don’t! I’m the one asking the questions here, not you. I’m surprised you’re still even talking under the state you’re in. And haven’t you ever asked yourself if you’re the one who’s going mad? I mean honestly, there is no need for you to continue this crusade of yours! There is no need for this to continue at all.

The Rebel- …You were always…always so stubborn. You’ve let yourself be so brainwashed you do not heed my warnings…and you call yourself a man of justice. I guess Justice really is blind.

The Breaker- Do you honestly believe that I’m still “fighting” against something unrighteous? I’m afraid you’re wrong, my friend. This is where you are mistaken. I have surrendered my former ways and I’m now fighting the proper enemies; the enemies that cannot live in peace. People like yourself who are enemies to our peace in the Society, and they will always be.

The Rebel- And you’re calling me the crazy one? You’re in such denial yourself that you’re stooping to their level of thought! The Society has never had peace, or if it is, its false peace! The Revolution will bring way to through peace and then The Truth will enlighten us all! (Then, The Breaker gives a surprise slap to the Rebel)

The Breaker- Your mention of strong denial from my side is quite…irritating! Your own twisted talks of revolution, lies and corruption within our Society is destroying your mind! Have you been so traumatized that you’ve grown to believe the drivel that’s coming from your mouth? You, who was raised within the peaceful graces of the Society, are now dedicated to kill? Do you honestly want to destroy the place of your childhood for a childish fantasy?

The Rebel- The place of my childhood was all a very constructed cover for what lies beneath this cesspool of corruption! Everybody was being fooled into believing the stupid, cruel things…we were all being indoctrinated into thoughts of destruction. Such desperation to suppress the masses…but the madness ends here.

The Breaker- Why would it end here, your so-called madness? Is it because of you, your charisma and your so-called soldiers? They who are fighting against the foundations of their ancestors and their own legacy? I find it cruel that they would kill themselves in the name of an aimless revolution!

The Rebel- This “aimless” Revolution is to stop the cycle, stop the deaths and stop The Society’s descent into madness! The people will realize what sacrifices had been made! They will never want to repeat themselves again! They will strive to do better and repent away from their wickedness!

The Breaker- So you’re saying that the people who listen to you…they’re fighting tooth, nail, body and soul for the epiphany that is your revolution? And then what next, I ask you? What happens after the fabled Truth comes to us all?

The Rebel- The Society will be better and morally healthier. True freedom will then be achieved and the people will know what to do then.

The Breaker- Is THAT what you think the results of your little revolution will bring? You think that this is what the truth will enlighten? Do you honestly believe that The Society will prosper and better itself after your little righteous uprising? You are a truly amazing madman. Your beliefs and mine aren’t too different, if you think about it…Except that my thoughts are more plausible than yours are. They also have actual answers and substance…do you want to know what will really happen to The Society after your revolution? Corruption, anarchy and a slow return to the cycle you and your freedom fighters fought so hard to break. After all, The Society is only as strong as the people who support it. (pause) This is what I promise you…The Society will not only crumble…it will collapse!

(Just as soon as The Breaker had finished, he launched a fist at the Rebel’s stomach, making the Rebel cough violently. Retreating to the table, the Breaker then smirks)

The Rebel- (out of breath) …Are those your true thoughts? That The Society…will collapse? Its that sort of thinking that we are fighting against. With the success of the revolution, there will be hope, there will peace and there will be freedom! They will as a result of our sacrifices, so they would never have to be made again- OUGH!

( The Rebel was punched again mid-speech by The Breaker and falls over. The Breaker then looms over the body of the Rebel and puts a foot on his chest)

The Breaker- Have you ever tried to pursue a career as a priest? You could be very successful, since you’ve got the blind fanaticism down right. But really, you’re getting quite repetitive with your preaching. Imagine if we were in front of an audience right now…don’t you think they’d want to see a dying prisoner make sense? I know you’re on the verge of death, but…try to at least get this into your head; The Society will collapse after your precious crusade. It will not prosper for long, though it might seem that way. But I believe that in each and every one of us lies a craving, hungry bloody monster. And eventually, we ignore our conscience and the monsters devours us, one by one. And that's what will happen with your precious renewed Society. Soon, the people will divide, and then you will collapse. The Society will fall, it will crumble...don't forget that, you pathetic name for a lowlife.

(The Breaker removes his foot from The Rebel's chest and the guards come in the room to sit him down. They then tie the Rebel's arms to the chair and feed him pills to revitalize him. The Rebel then coughs as he returns to life, gasping and coughing and yelling in pain. He then glared at the Breaker with renewed fury in his eyes.)

The Rebel- You...How could have such thoughts and not be in my position is beyond my knowledge. But I must admit that they sound as crazy as my own beliefs, even worse! But why is it that you believe in what you say? We both know better...you deny the one and only Truth while I am willing to sacrifice for it.

The Breaker- Well don't you have your own demented thoughts? Your nonsense about rebellion against the system; fighting for things which you have already have, but you've been misusing them. You know that under our laws, you may have all the freedom and prosperity and order you like, as long as you respect our boundaries. What has been established and always will be established in the order. You've just been too self-absorbed to appreciate it.

The Rebel- Yet I know and I follow my own conscience in my belief for The better Society! True freedom is not within your rules of torture and silence! My so-called lunacy has generated interest for a reason; the people are becoming conscious now...if you say that the things that I am fighting for are taken for granted, then the Revolution will bring those virtues into light! Call me what you like, do to me what you will, but my idea will remain! The Truth shall be heard!

(...The Breaker sighed and chuckled. This was all getting to start like martyrdom. After all, the Rebel had been kept alive on the adrenaline and the drugs...though it might cost him his life already. Oh well. He was getting so much fun out of the warm-up, but now was time to show EXACTLY why he had been chosen for the job...)

The Breaker- That charisma of yours can certainly keep your mouth going for minutes on end. Well...enough talk. I think its time you've gotten to know the new me and forget the former Delinquent from ten years ago. This is the only thing you know about me; I am a man of justice, and I fight for The Society itself. The only thing I know about you is that you are also apparently fighting for the eventual benefit of The Society. We've picked our sides and fought our battles. Isn't it time we get to the point of this whole shebang and I take my time to actually break you? I mean, we've already gone through with the proceeding and now I get to have my fun. I hope you enjoy the savage experience. It'll refresh your mind.

(The Breaker gets a truncheon and begins to slap and whip the rebel repeatedly and then he delivers punches to The Rebel, who is then electrocuted into exhausted again. Thanks to the pills he had been fed earlier, the adrenaline had been enough to leave the Rebel to a last inch of his life...)

The Breaker- Now, now, let us see what we have now...Do we still have eyes of a so-called revolutionary?

(To his excitement, The Breaker looks into a pair of beaten yet lively eyes.)

The Rebel- ...A-Are you satisfied now? D-do you not listen to my words earlier? Call me what you like, do to me what you want. My ideas will remain. The Truth will be heard. If I perish then the people will know and they will live for the Revolution...So your efforts are useless..!

(The Rebel then spits defiantly at the stunned Breaker, who actually receives the spit and in retaliation, viciously bites the lip and tongue of The Rebel and for a moment, the two males seem to engage into a voracious kiss. But then Breaker draws himself away from the Rebel and with a smirk, licks his lip and wipes the blood off with his sleeve. He then moves to return to the table, twirling the truncheon in his hands.)

The Breaker- I wonder...do you really want to die that much? Thinking that your demise will trigger something. Though of course, it could mean something if you died, though; you are a family man, widowed with a son. Said son then joined the Father's happy cause. But then...will he have time to miss Daddy when he's gone? I don't know about that. But then, I forget that you also have influenced your surrogate gangs of rebel wannabes; young guns who all want to do something with their lives. They let themselves be brainwashed by your ideas so they can say they they're important. They want to destroy buildings and scorch childhood enemies for your beautiful and successful revolution. Rah rah rah. I'm afraid that you're in for a sad aftermath of bullocks after it.

The Rebel- ...Again, I'm being called the lunatic...you have had your mind corroded to a point of no return. Your future of the Society collapsing will never happen. With the Truth, The Society will not be repeating our mistakes! (The Rebel is then slapped by the Breaker's truncheon)

The Breaker- Uh uh uh. There you go again. Is the edge of death making you sound like a broken record? I'm beginning to think so. I think that you and I differ too much on how your revolution will ever happen. You're so hellbent on creating your precious peace, freedom and prosperity that you will fail to see what will be lost in the process. It would have to take that one prodigy son of yours to make it exactly what you fear most. (He pauses to slap the thin stick on The Rebel's cheek) And if that son of yours is as pigheaded and as hellbent as Daddy is, the denial will start even earlier and your worst will come...Since it only takes one man to lead a people to peace as well as that same man who could drive it to extinction.

The Rebel- I think you are mistaken this time around...but if you would like to prove your theory, finish me. With the knowledge of my demise, we shall we see who is right.

The Breaker- ...Tut tut tut. Do you know what our first Revolution was about? It had been lead by a Knight named Lucius, who fell out of touch with The Lord at the time. He plotted conspiracy to take over from The Lord but was defeated and banished from Eden. Since then, these “fights for power” have been repeated, each with their shares of successes...though they vary. You want to fight for this. You want to fight for that. Familiarity that took years to establish and lose all over again. Why? Because one person couldn't wait his turn anymore. One person was so short-tempered. One person was so empathetic that he made everyone believe that their fighting was necessary. The reversal of this authority for theirs. Your lives and mine will be better, I promise you. They all sound the same. The people listen. The people follow. The people prosper, destroy...and then, then they collapse. The monster had taken over. It was all because of that one man who was just too impatient. That one man was willing to put his life on the line for the revolution that will never truly come. They have many names and many roles, but eventually they all fail. And what's to say that what you're doing will suceed where they've

fallen?

The Rebel- Grr! Such cynicism...well then, to see where your cycle will go, go on and finish me! I will prove to you that my sacrifice will be wor- (Before he finished his sentence, The Rebel was then jerked by the neck by The Breaker and faints.)

(Lights dim to black.)

(( Yep. That's about it for today. Did anyone get the reference from the book yet? Any allusions?

I know, I know. Chilling, ain't it?

A comment I got was 'how depressed were you'? And I'd just like to say...I don't get depression.

Depression gets ME.

I'm not sure what I'm gonna post tomorrow, though I'm thinking it'll be a poem. What I can tell you though is that Wednesday and Thursday, I'll be posting two versions of the same story. Which looks better? You tell me.))

Until then,

See you on the flipside.

Suzanne Helen James.

11.23.09.