My big brother's secret

Masterpost Here

My big brother's secret

(a.k.a. A Southwestern romance)

An updated dialogue-turned-script by Suzanne Helen James

For Ms. Maguire's Creative Writing 12

Kitsilano Secondary School

(Simeon is in his room, furiously writing something. The always curious Clarissa, his little sister, suddenly comes in the room to bother him, especially in his most crucial moments of concentration. This is one of them.)

Clarissa: “...What are ya doin', big brother Simeon? Ya seemed so con-cen-trated, I just had to let myself in.”

Simeon: “That's “concentrated”. And get out, I'm writin'. Could ya leave me alone this time? I'm really busy an' this is somethin' really important.”

Clarissa: “Hmm. 'Kay then. (She hasn't moved away, but instead has moved to his desk side. Simeon moves his elbow down to block her view) Can I see what you're writin', big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: “No. You ain't gonna be seein' it anytime soon either, so get on' leavin'.”

Clarissa: “Alright then, I'm leavin'...But why can't I read it, big brother?? Why can't I?”

Simeon: “It ain't ready yet.”

Clarissa: “What do you mean, 'it ain't ready yet'?”

Simeon: “It's like I said...it ain't ready yet!”

Clarissa: “Are you writin' somethin' for somebody?”

(Silence for a little bit. Simeon doesn't give an immediate answer and doesn't look at Clarissa, but quickly retorts...)

Simeon: “...Maybe...anyways, get on goin', or else I'm gon' get you.”

Clarissa: “...Kay then. (Still hasn't moved.) Who're you writing it to?”

Simeon: “Not tellin' you a dang word.”

Clarissa: “Aww, come onnnn! Who you writin' it to, Big brother Simeonnnn??”

Simeon: “Get it through your lil wormin' head, I ain't tellin' you none o' it, 'kay? Now get on leavin' me 'fore I give one to ya!”

Clarissa: “Well, alright then. But I'm not stoppin' till you tell me who you're writin' to!”

Simeon: “Oh really? Well you can go 'head and try all ya like, but you ain't gettin' a thing from me.”

Clarissa: “Really? You ain't gon' tell me a dang thing, Big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: “Yeah. Not a god-given dang thing. Now vamoose an' get 'fore I do somethin' mean and big to ya!”

Clarissa: “...Awww! I'm goin then...but first! Can't I even give a hootin' eye's guess who you gonna write it to, Big brother?”

Simeon: “...Again ya lil' maggot; you can try but you ain't gon' guess it!”

Clarissa: “Really? Ya sure o' that, Big brother Simeon? Not even if I try with all my might?”

Simeon: “...Yeah,yeah, yeah. Now get on' leavin now 'fore I really get angry and I'm forced to gettin' you outta 'ere by force, in other words, my big whoopin' fists!!!”

Clarissa: “...Welll...I'ma gonna try my luck anyway! Is sheeeeee....Is she someone I'd know from school?”

(...Exasperated and slightly miffed that Clarissa doesn't react to his threats as easily as she used to, Simeon rolls his eyes and turns around to ignore Clarissa. But like always, that's hard to do. Finally, he plays along, but still slips in a few more in to see if it'll do something to get her out faster.)

Simeon: “...She ain't in your grade, kay. Told ya you couldn't get it. Now get on leavin' before Big brother gets mad. And trust me; you've seen Big brother gettin' mad and you don't want it happenin' to you, now do ya?”

Clarissa: “Aww, grass nuggets! Lemme try again 'fore I leave though, 'kay? Issss sheeee...somebody from any other school that I'd know?”

Simeon: “...Goddamit, ya annoyin' little nut! She just ain't in your grade, 'kay? She's in mine! Mine, mine, mine! Now just beat it, ya lil varmint! Or else you're really gettin' me mad! You hearin' me? I'm about to get Hulkin' mean!”

The mischievious Clarissa is still next to Simeon's side, even with the threats. She continues on with her guesses, to Simeon's dismay.)

Clarissa:“...Hmmm! Big brother Simeon's swearin' again! (Pause.) Heyy! Is itttttt...Marsha Wilkins, that girl who's always lipsin' an' all that? Rumor was, recently she got 'er tooth chipped off from her daddy. Says she been kissin' them boys too much and got some spankin' and soap water for punishment...Mamaw ain't gon' do that to me when I'm outtin', is she? 'Sides, the only kissin' in the mouth I've done is Daddy...and I can't get soaped for that, can I? It's Daddy, no matter how weird it is!”

Simeon: “(sighs)...First off, ain't Marsha Wilkins that I'm writin' to. Secondly, no, Mamaw ain't gon' do that to ya. Except, maybe...the soap water thing. And thirdly...would ya mind gettin' on goin outta my room, ya lil bugger? You are seriously close to gettin' big brother mad!”

Clarissa: “.....Kay then...though I'ma give one more try, just to pry! Is itttttt....is it that Becky Donahue girl, the one's who's always hittin' people on the face? That girl always has a laugh that just reminds me of a big, bloatin' ass...with braces. You ever see that, big brother? An ass with braces? That's what I think Becky is. Or she might've been in another life...To think, God Almighty once made 'er into an ass with-”

Simeon: “No I haven't, ya lil rugnut! And no, Becky Donahue ain't the one I'm writin' to! Now get on and move outta my room 'fore I put one on ya like I ain't put on ya before!”

(As Simeon's anger escalates with the recurring list of threats, the little sister giggles and still stays put. Okay...maybe she hops back a foot, but otherwise she's still in the room and feels she's getting closer to finding the answer.)

Clarissa: “Hmm, hmm, hmm! Big brother's gettin' angry! (Pause.) Hey! I just thought o' somethin'! Don't folks say that girls hit ya when they like you? And Becky Donahue's been hittin' on you a lot lately, hasn't she? She always says that she wanna see ya after school, an big brother always goes with 'er! So how many times would Becky hit ya then?”

Simeon: “...”

Clarissa: “...Big brother ain't answerin' that question...”

Simeon: “...That's cause big brother don't wanna answer that question! Now get leavin' 'fore I stick one big one on ya like I ain't ever stick one on ya before! Go on, get!”

Clarissa: “Wait, wait, wait! Don't Becky Donahue have a twin sister? Ain't she the pretty, nicer one o' the two? Infact, she always gettin' ya lunch after Becky takes 'em away from you! And she always pats your back after Beck hits ya all the time!”

(....This time the silence has Simeon turning away from Clarissa, hands clasped behind his head. Hopping another step back, the little sister gets a bit closer to the door. She knows that she's practically figured it out. Preparing for her big finish, Clarissa steps backwords one more time.)

Simeon: “...”

Clarissa: “...Hey, Big brother ain't answerin' that question neither! But...I thought I was right 'bout Becky Donahue's sister! Ain't she the pretty one o' the two Donahue twins, with blonde hair an' shiny white teeth? I can tell that she's an actual girl! Ain't that her? I wanna know, I wanna knowwww! Big brother Simeon ain't answerin' that question and I wanna know!!!”

(Getting even closer towards losing the edge of reason, Simeon takes a deep breath and resists. He drops his head on the desk and lets out a defeated groan before grumbling a faint muffle of words under his breath. Then he finally raises his head and barely utters...)

Simeon: “...Yeah.”

Clarissa: “...Huh? Whazzat? Big brother Simeon said sumthin' but I couldn't hear it.”

Simeon: “...Yeah, Becky Donahue's got a sister. And er name's Dee-Dee. Now get on' outta here, ya lil snake. Ya got what you wanted, now make away an' get.”

Clarissa: “That's her? The one with the blonde hair?”

Simeon: “Yeah.”

Clarissa: “The one with the shiniest teeth in the whole wide world?”

Simeon: “...yeah.”

Clarissa: “The one who runs with ya to the nurse's office after you end up cryin' when Becky hits you?”

Simeon: “...Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now...can ya just get on with yur life an move on away from mine? I'm tryin' to write 'ere!”

Clarissa: “...So, was I right? Is big brother Simeon's writin' to Becky Donahue's twin sister, Dee-dee Donahue?”

Simeon: “....Get goin', I said.”

Clarissa: “So it is her, right, Big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: (Getting ready to attack Clarissa now, having been driven to his limits.) “...Yeah...now get the heck outta my room 'fore I deliver a whoopin' on ya like I ain't never whooped one on ya, you little son of a flick...Infact...I'ma gonna give one to ya right now, ya little monster! Come 'ere!”

(First giggling, then bursting in laughter, the triumphant Clarissa jumps away just in time to miss her brother's leaping towards her...blowing a rasberry as she slams the door in his face, she winces slightly as she hears the 'THUMP' of his face hitting the wood of his doorframe. Smirking to herself, Clarissa then skipps away while singing to herself...)

Clarissa: “Si-me-on-and-Dee-Dee sitt-in-on-a-tree...k-i-s-s-ing...first comes love...then comes marriage...and before you know it, whoops! Here's one-a comin' in a baby carriage!!” (Before leaving the stage, she yells to Mamaw)

Clarissa: “...Mamaw, Big brother Simeon's got a crush on Dee-Dee Donahue! If he kisses 'er like crazy, can you wash his mouth with soap an' chip his all o' his tooth off like Marsha's Daddy did her? An' he kept on threatenin' me! Can I get Daddy to put 'im in prison for attempted homicidin' on my person like for that other guy?! I want 'im to stay in jail till he's a hundred an' five, cuz I think he's really, really...dan-ger...(struggles with the word) dan-ge-rous! And toppin' it all off, he's still swearin' like...(she stops to think of something really good.) Big brother's still swearin' like a mad cowboy on shots o' gin! Can you spank im? Pleeeease??? He's really, really bad, Mamaw!!!”

Simeon: (on the floor, groaning...then yells) “Mamaw, don't you believe her! I am your one, good, god-given and educated nobel son! I demand that you take my side and not take an inch of what that...little creature there is tryin' to say bout me! I can honestly that She's the evil one! She could be growin' up a compulsive liar for all we know! Would you believe her drabbles over my honesty and good will? I think not! I suggest we take care of her before she's gettin' too hard to handle; the sooner, the better!”

Mom: (Doesn't come on stage, but we hear her voice loud and clear in the background.) “...For heavens's sake Clarissa, not again! How many times do I gotta tell you...we ain't puttin' your brother in jail, we ain't gon' chip his teeth off, an' he ain't dangerous! But! If I do hear anythin'...and I mean anythin', of a near damning expletive outta either, 'specially you, young Simeon...you're gon' be wishin' and prayin' that you HAD been in a prison cell after I'd be done with ya!! Now is that clear?”