A Valentine's day drabble (belated ironically, by a month and a couple of years)

(Masterpost Here)

A Letter of Love Lost

A flash fiction by Suzanne Helen James

Published in 2008-2009

Estherton, In the Lord’s Nation of Alfpheinstein,

February 14th, 1783

To the Lord Julian Theophanes Smithers of the house of Aldergades,

I am tired. I could honestly say that I have tried. It’s been hell, but God knows I’ve tried. What am I tired of? Your negativity? Your general disregard? Or perhaps I’m just tired of you. Isn’t this what you wanted, though? You were probably expecting me to say something, then it should give you reason to flip it around and make you look like the better of us. Though in truth, you are no better than me and I am no better than you. Our life experiences differ greatly and our visions of the world we live are even farther apart. However, there was a time when things had been different. Vastly different. Amicable, even. False promises were made, but they were said and done. With the promise of someday soon. Someday soon you would do this. Someday soon I would too.

But with the heat of summer and the general feel of light and carelessness, I suppose we had been too caught up to realize the foolishness of it all.

After all, this is you, I’m talking about. In every other circumstance, you and I are complete strangers. You only” love” me on your own time. People would never guess that we actually talk to each other; after all, I am but a insignificant housekeeper and you, the one and only owner of only acres of this rich, dirty soil…Oh Julian, you false and suffering Julian. If you only acknowledged the depth of my feelings. You know, though, I know you do. That’s the sad thing. You openly shut yourself away and after all that’s been said, after all that’s been done, all our efforts…You always act as if nothing happened. In your heart, though, you cannot deny me. You cannot deny your passion for me. I wish I could make you see it. I would rip out those damned and beautiful eyes of yours if it meant you seeing the truth. I wish you would expose yourself to the world without the monstrous ego you carry around with you. It devours you whole and you become someone else. Oh yes, you’ve heard all of it before; you have been scolded by your other women for the same reasons. But this is me you’re talking to. And through these last 3 years we’ve been around each other, I think you have learned to know me more than enough; especially this summer, where I think I might’ve loved you for the last time.

But I suppose that I have had enough. I surrender. You win. I lose.

You no longer want me around, so I will depart. I have enlisted a new applicant and my replacement is quite dutiful. If you were to seduce her into your chambers as you once did me, then I expect that she will be much more willing to service all of you than me. Let us not forget that you are a man of awfully great pride. You do not look for one who equals you, but rather submits to you. She will be quite good for your tastes then.

…My carriage will take me towards the border and through Friedenland, where hopefully, I shall get across free land without much interrpution. In the meantime, I do hope you are well and that my true message will get across into your tiny, pea-sized, useless and erratic membrane of yours you called a brain.