Nadia's nine months (Original story set in the Gaiaverse)

Masterpost Here


Nadia’s nine months of hell (uncensored and just thought up)

Rating: T

Genre: comedy, drama

Chapter 1- the first month of the beginning of the end

She had laid there for who knows how long now. Hours, perhaps? Or long, impossible minutes? Whichever the case, she had no choice to admit defeat to this half of this mortality phase of hers.

Damn that Hera.

She was pregnant. (After 28 long years of hot and sweaty sex, villain-ridding and world saving, you’d think it would’ve happened earlier in her immortally mortal life!) Of all times to get a small egg to grow inside you and endure the next nine torturous months when your belly would gradually, slowly, agonizingly expand to the size of a huge exercise ball and then the harsher undertaking of actually getting into the oh-so distressful and painfully hard experience of getting into “labour” and actually screaming and crying your way into giving birth to a child or two even…

Oh how sweet it was, she thought sarcastically. She just happened to be one of those rare and uncommon women who did NOT want a baby to raise and nurture in their world…which was Nadia’s case exactly.

She already was dead busy with her current “kid” of now 16, Takai which she “lovingly” called “stupid brat”. (which he was, in a naïve and utterly idiotically childish way of being.) And of course there was Tatsume. Koudoro was his first name but she had grown to never call him by his first name over the years they had spent together and he surprisingly didn’t mind. Either he was scared to death to ask why or he simply ignored the topic for his mushy and gaga reason he claimed was “love”. Love to Nadia meant all the sizzling and steamy “love”-making nights they had made together and that was it.

All of this, which was just purely inexplicable and truly inconceivable to her, had resulted to this? (The unfathomable and mysterious reason of this happening now and to her of all people is still a disturbing mystery and has yet to be resolved)

She growled and glared down at her stomach.

Was this her imagination or was she seeing bumps already?

“I’m going to kill him,” she promised to herself.

“Kill who?” said a smiling blonde from behind her. Just as he was about to step inside the bathtub from behind, a gun was quickly by his face. Nonetheless the man chuckled anyway and still sat down.

“Morning to you too, Nadia” he greeted, handgun finally out of sight and his hands now massaging her shoulders. She growled for a minute before suddenly, slowly, miraculously calming down and even purring a little to the man’s soft muscle manipulations. He blinked in surprise as she moved her back closer to his chest.

“Mmmhmm…keep going,” she asked gently. The blonde just nodded. This was getting peculiar to him; his lover actually reacting positively to his advances? Then again these days, he had seen the oddest of things going on surrounding the usually calm and sombrely cold Nadia. Yesterday to say the least he had seen her do the most abnormal and “human” thing of all…

And no, she still didn’t smile.

(Flashback)

Koudoro yawned and walked up to the kitchen when he bumped into a moping and fidgeting green-haired adolescent boy. He smiled at him.

“Hey Takai!” he greeted, patting his shoulder,”Isn’t it a wonderful morning we’re having here today?”

The boy, who was looking at the ground, whimpered and looked up to the taller man. “Kou-chan…someone…someone…”he whimpered again and started weeping throatily, tears flowing down his emerald eyes.

“Hey…what’s wrong, kid? Someone got your Onizuma plushie again?” he asked tenderly. The boy shook his head in negation. And bit his lip in gloom. What had just happened was just so unbearable to him that all he could do was cry about it for his discovery was that heartbreaking for him.

“It…It…”he replied shakily. Finally losing all control, Takai broke down and clutched desperately the blonde’s balled fists with his own small hands, fell on his knees and sobbed his heart out.

“SOMEONE STOLE AND DEVOURED ALL MY BANANA PUDDINGS, MY BANANA POPSICLES AND MY BANANA COLADAS!!!!AAHAAAAAAHAAAAWAAAAAAH!!!!” he wailed, slumping his head down in self-lament. Koudoro stood silent, his eyes wide in false surprise. He patted absent-mindedly the boy’s head in hopeful support that this food disappearance mystery would be solved, although…

This wasn’t new. FAR from new for Takai always had something stolen every week because he was so reckless about leaving his “secret junk stash” unearthed from its hiding place after he had eaten from it. Though this time Takai hadn’t gone to his stash once this week…and Koudoro had helped him place it this time around and had always gone out at night to check if anything would be indeed missing from there.

The blonde kneeled down to the boy’s height and hugged him. ”Okay, Okay, let it out, boy, let it out…we’ll find our banananapper, alright?”

“Yeah…we sure as hell will,” he replied, sniffing away his tears and glaring at the oncoming figure from behind them. Nadia, just arriving on the scene, gawked in bewilderment at the two, but with a plastic spoon in her mouth, she couldn’t say anything, so she just kneeled down behind Koudoro, patted Takai’s head, shook her head at him and went on her way.

Takai narrowed his eyes and jumped out of Koudoro’s grip to point his finger at her leaving body.

He growled,”….YOU did it, didn’t you Na-chan? You stole all of my banana puddings, my banana popsicles AND my banana coladas!!!!!!!”

The night-haired woman stopped in her tracks and finally took the plastic spoon out of her mouth. Koudoro gulped. This wasn’t going to be good. The boy had sealed his own fate...Again. Nadia turned around to give her trademark stone-cold death glare at Takai, who for the first time in his 16 years of child life wasn’t scared of that…or was now successfully masking out that detail anyway for he was still very, very, very much scared of it.

Am I gonna die again? He thought nervously. He shivered and stayed in place. Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, pretty please don’t kill me, he begged, whimpering again.

Nadia just…stared at him, expectantly. When not having heard anything else from the teen boy, she walked down to him and pointed her wet spoon at his forehead. Takai shut his eyes and was on his knees again, waiting deadly execution…

“Baka,” she simply said, smacking him behind the head. She glanced at Koudoro, looked down at her sweets cup, took another mouthful and returned the spoon to her mouth before waving goodbye reflexively and leaving on her way towards the bedrooms.

Mouth in a shocked frown and eyes dot-sized, Takai just twitched an eyebrow and collapsed to the ground. ”oww…oww…oww…”he mumbled…even though he had received no pain. None whatsoever.

The stunned blonde just laughed to cut the awfully awkward after silence. “Something must be amiss with her after all.” He chuckled simply, smiling like nothing ever was but trying inwardly to desperately process what had just occurred.

(End flashback)

Koudoro took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He was still trying to understand why Nadia suddenly was going through these odd habits lately…Always found with a fruit-flavoured pudding in mouth (her apparent favourites are strawberry, apple and…banana?!), reducing her incurable and infamously fatal gunshot attacks and death-glares to light head smacks and short blank glances and most surprising of all… she now spends the day out on their patio and laying frontally naked to the sky in only her bathrobe and talking for hours on end with her sister Miharu on the phone!(though the only things Nadia actually said in the conversations were muffled curses and hateful growls.)

Yes…something was definitely amiss with his lover these days. Why with her mood swings and sudden fruit cream pudding cravings, one would think she’d be…

He gasped in absolute shock and clamped his mouth to avoid waking her up for Nadia had fallen asleep in the bath again. (Another of her odd and new habits.) Koudoro poured up in happy, proud tears of joy at the sole realization.

He knew she was acting up for a reason. He glanced at Nadia’s stomach and poked it once then squealed happily and giggled like a giddy schoolgirl.

He couldn’t help it; he was going to possibly be a father for Pete’s sake!!!

“I’m a…I’m a…I’m a mamamamamama…,” he whimpered blissfully and smeared off a fulfilled man’s tear from his cheek. He couldn’t help flooding down his happy sniffs and snivels, so he kept on crying(mutely) and held Nadia’s sleeping body in his arms and soon, rocked her back and forth and hummed a lullaby for the future baby and its beautiful mother-to be…who-truly-needs-some-sort-of-convincing-to-keep-the-child-and-not-let-the-poor-infant-wander-out-alone-in baby-adoption-land.

But…Nadia shouldn’t be…too big of a problem. He hoped.

“By the gods, will I truly, madly, deeply be a father??? Such earthly bliss, bless the world!!!” at his question, Nadia stirred from her sleep. Koudoro sighed happily again and held his expectant (and now fully awakened) lover close to him and placing his chin on her head.

“Tatsume…”she asked sharply, back to her old and cold self,” what were you-“but he cut her off and eagerly asked,

“Nadia Motomiya, please answer this…are you…expecting?” he asked, tearfully. His heart and mind both wanted to hear a hopeful and happy and mirthful “yes, I will be a mother…and you will be a proud and happy father, Tatsume!”

But…reality came to bit him in the ass. Or shoot him…You get the idea, it just wasn’t nice to him.

When Koudoro had asked that, Nadia’s confirmed unmotherly rage grew over the edge. The now scared stiff blonde slowly, carefully backed away from his lover and would’ve been almost out of the bathtub…

If Takai hadn’t come in to pee. Nonetheless, Nadia did go nuts anyway and Koudoro made his escape and quickly ran for the door, still naked and wet as a newborn.

“TATSUME-BAKAA!!!! COME BACK HERE AT ONCE!!!” she blared, jumping out of the bathroom as well and racing after him with long-range revolver in hand.

“I’M SORRRYYYYY, I’M SORRY, I’M REALLY REALLY SORRRYYY!!!! OWW!” he yelled, wincing as her bullets attacked him. Takai, still doing his morning toilet, yawned and looked over at his “parents” playing cat and mouse all over the household.

He sighed and bent down to pull up his pants when he noticed a small aluminium wrapper from the garbage pail beside the bathtub. He rushed to it, wretched open the hatch and gasped.

Why of all people….

“I KNEW IT!!!! NADIA DID EAT MY BANANA PUDDINGS, MY BANANA POPSICLES AND MY BANANA COLADAAAASSSSS!!!” he exclaimed.

He gulped as he heard her nearing gunshots. Though… right now isn’t a good time to confront her about it. He thought as he crept in the now empty bathtub and waited until the “terror” outside subsided.

And to say that was only the first day of the new month!