Those greedy little eyes

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"Those greedy little green eyes"

A short story by Suzanne Helen James

My eyes looked down at the cradle as I watched him sleep. For the 14th time that night, a frown crossed my face, expressing the bitterness that was as sour as ugly green gummy worms. Gripping the handles on the white cradle, I narrowed my eyes and took another heated glare at my new little brother. Jeremiah was his name, but everybody shortened it to Jeremy.

I'd rather call him Germs. Or Goblin even.

Mommy and Daddy had brought him home less than 6 months ago, when Mommy had to go to the hospital. She stayed there while Daddy went to visit her every day. I stayed at home with Lynda, my babysitter. She had been hired because Mommy and Daddy had called her a “cheap easy.” I didn't know what it meant, but I did know that I didn't really like her very much.

As a big “big” kid (a teenager), Lynda was always talking about her “boyfriend”, her “hell of a life” and how she wished she was anywhere but here. When she was really mad, sometimes she would use big words. But she wasn't always like that. On the days when she felt in a good mood, Lynda would talk about her boyfriend and actually try and take care of things around the house, including me. On days when she was in a bad mood, well then Lynda didn't like anyone; she didn’t like her boyfriend, and even worse, Lynda would be mad at everything I did and not like me at all.

Unfortunately, I ended up picking a bad day for Lynda when I had asked why Mommy had been in the hospital for so long. Lynda, who was yelling on the phone, suddenly turned to me and said, “Well she's obviously gone cause she's having a baby, twerp! Now scram, Sam and I are talking!”

Later that day when I asked again, Lynda was still in such in a bad mood that this time she used big kid words, like “pregnant”, and “labor” and stuff…and didn’t even explain anything to me! Since I didn't know what they meant, I waited for Daddy and asked him when he got back home. When he told me what they all meant…

I was shocked. My jaw dropped. “Mommy was gonna have a baby?” I said slowly. Mommy was going to have a baby? Soon? Another little kid like me? I was excited! This was gonna be like having a little mini-me around! Someone to play with! Someone to blame things on when I'd really done it! Someone I'd protect from the dangers of girl cooties!

...Though if it's a baby girl, I could teach her how not to get cooties.

It would be months after that before I finally heard those footsteps from downstairs.”Guess who?” I heard as Mommy and Daddy came in the doorway. I bounced down the stairs and ran towards my new sibling. When Mommy had knelt to my level, the wide grin on my face had shrunk to a small frown. I swallowed slowly and squinted as I saw the little baby, wrapped in a red blanket. What was this? Who was this? Thin red stripes on his face for eyebrows, a teeny-tiny nose...and a small closed mouth. Was this the little brother that I was supposed to play with? Was this the little brother I was supposed to blame things on? He was so small. He looked so fragile. He looked like a soft, frail little doll. Ugh. I blinked and raised a dusty hand to touch him and instantly flinched. Mommy and Daddy giggled as he awoke to my touch. It was when he opened his eyes that I saw the softest shade of green ever. It was so bright, so...pretty and...shiny.

I don't know why but my eyes narrowed and my frown deepened. Without warning, I turned around and ran away to my room, leaving Mommy and Daddy confused. When I reached my room, I slammed the door and dove under the bed covers. Staring into the darkness, I laid on my stomach.

"Son?" I then heard from outside. Daddy was outside my doorstep, trying to understand what had happened earlier. Another knock followed. "Son? What happened down there? Are we feeling a little shy about meeting our little baby brother? Aww, that's alright...really! It's fine, you know. We're all feeling a bit shy in our first time, too..."

Yes, that's what my problem is. After a long silence, Daddy finally gave up. "Well...alright then, mister. Feel free to give yourself a time out until you've felt you're ready to face him. But honestly? You might've startled him when you woke him up, but I swear that those pretty greens of his were so happy to see you!" Ending with a chuckle, Daddy left me to my brooding. When left alone, I growled madly. I clutched at my bedsheets, making my fists burning with heat. I started to shake and hit the mattress. I slammed my head on the bed back and forth until I was starting to get dizzy and my forehead was getting sore.

And then a tear leaked down from my eye. I bit my lip and shut my eyes. I didn't want to cry, but...

"ooogh!!" I muttered in frustration and rubbed my eyes. The tears didn't stop flowing. I shook, squirmed and growled as my mind conjured up that baby's face. Those striking little green orbs. Staring at me so blankly...it irritated me. It made me mad. It made me cry.

Those green eyes stirred something in me. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that my little brother was going to take something away from me. Those green eyes of his told me so. And I don't know why, but I knew that I would hate him for it. I would never forgive him for watching me so innocently with those eyes of his.

At first it was his cries, invading my ears from far upstairs or on the living room radio. Mommy or Daddy would apologize and leave me by myself while they sped up to his room. But that's not what I wanted. Little did they know how much their apologies meant nothing to me, but instead I would rather have it if Germs wouldn't even be here, at their beck and call.

Then, it was his smell. Mommy and Daddy would laugh and joke and fill the air with his dirty diapers as they changed him. The smell of his poop and the weird smell of the diaper perfume wasn't pretty. But Mommy and Daddy would never notice my tongues at his direction, my grimaces or my disgust. No, I was too grown-up for that. And I was smiling too much.

But one day I decided that was this was enough. The green-eyed little monster had gotten

its time. I started going to school. I started to write, spell things, number things and draw pretty pictures. I was using all the tricks in the book. Even Lynda liked it and praised me. But when I started to fight for Mommy's attention, nothing worked. "Oh! Honey, did you draw that? That's a good- Awww, look at that, Jeremy's got a little thing up here..."

And what I drew was actually quite good.

When I fought for Daddy's attention, not even grabbing my own milk and cookies by myself had even gotten a glimpse of attention from him. "Hoh hoh! Someone's been a good boy!" I remembered, "I'm so proud of you! That's a-Jeremyyy! You little spiller! How could you do that?" When Daddy returned his attention to Goober, I remember not staying too long in order to avoid staring at those eyes. Those greedy little green eyes.

It would be a little longer after that that I would realize that I was too late..but I knew what was going to happen the minute I had stared into his eyes. I wouldn't stop trying though. I couldn't lose to that little Goober...I just didn't want to be stopped by those eyes.

It wouldn't be long before Mommy and Daddy would completely forget about me.